Friday, July 3, 2015

See another side of the Hebrew home

Cecelia b.  ratner and Eugene j ratner.

Case in ny supreme court bronxcounty






When the ratner's long time hose keeper went to visit Cecelia ratner she was denied the ability to visit.
The Hebrew home holds Cecelia ratner I such manner that her husband dr Eugene j ratner was unable to call her.  The Hebrew home is easily manipulated. The wall street journal would be enlightened by a study of this case and conversations with Eugene j ratner's patients for many years.
WebCivil Supreme - Appearance Detail
Court:Bronx Civil Supreme
Index Number:  260334/2014
Case Name:CECELIA RATNER vs. ABRAMS,LAURENCE
Case Type:Other (None Of The Above)
Track:Standard

Appearance Information:
Appearance
Date
TimeOn ForAppearance
Outcome
Justice /
Part
CommentsMotion
Seq
11/10/2014  Supreme Initial (first time on)Remove Stay MARK FRIEDLANDER
IA25 
CAPTION AMENDED
 



Dating Again at 88 - WSJ


By
Riverdale, N.Y.
William Beck, 88, has begun dating again.
On a recent afternoon, he met Claire Berger at a linen-covered table in a cafe overlooking the Hudson River. Over coffee and a piece of pound cake, he learned they had some things in common. She lost two husbands, and he lost two wives. Each is from New York, but spent years in Florida. Both use walkers and were born in the 1920s—Ms. Berger declined to tell her age, offering only that she was older than he.
At the end of an animated conversation, Mr. Beck asked for her phone number. “She was very nice. I will definitely call her again,” says Mr. Beck.
Mr. Beck never thought he would have the chance to date again, especially after having a stroke three years ago and moving into Hebrew Home at Riverdale, a large nursing home in New York City’s Bronx borough. After two happy marriages and a long-term relationship with another woman who died, he isn’t interested in getting married and doesn’t expect to fall in love again. But he misses taking a woman out, deliberating about what to wear, bantering over cocktails, and being the one to pick up the tab. He also misses having someone to share things with. “I’m not talking about sex. I’m talking about the closeness,” he says.
So much of aging is about loss and a diminishing ability to do what you used to. But some things are worth trying to restore.
Dating is one, says Daniel Reingold, president and CEO of RiverSpring Health, the parent organization that operates Hebrew Home, which recently organized a dating service. Hebrew Home, which has a longstanding policy that protects the rights of its residents to form relationships, wanted to provide more opportunities for people to meet each other.
People need connection and affirmation, regardless of age, says Mr. Reingold, and possibly more so with age. Studies show that older adults who have strong social networks and high levels of social activity show less cognitive decline. We also need to have something to look forward to and get excited about, says Mr. Reingold. “It makes us feel younger,” he says.
Being 96 doesn’t mean Edythe Kershnar doesn’t care about her future. Mrs. Kershnar, who writes poetry and sings in the home’s glee club, hasn’t been on a date for more than 70 years, the last one being with the man who became her husband, Simon. “I wanted to give it [dating] a chance,” says Mrs. Kershnar, who was married for 66 years until Simon died about 10 years ago. She recently signed up for Hebrew Home’s dating service. “I’m 96. How much longer will I be here? I want companionship in what years I have left.”
Hebrew Home, a big complex with 850 residents, launched the dating program in March. About a dozen people signed up and filled out questionnaires. Matches are made by a small team of social workers, who try to pair people according to interests, stay abreast of relationships and arrange new matches if a date doesn’t work out.
One resident likes rock 'n' roll and knitting, another opera and writing poetry. An 87-year-old woman from the Bronx would like to meet someone who is “tall, good looking and not too young,” while another woman is looking for a man with a 36-38 inch waist and either a full head of hair or a fully shaved head. A 94-year-old gentleman, who speaks French, seeks someone with nice skin.
Asked “Are you a romantic?,” one woman responds “Yes, who isn’t?” Another says “I can be,” another “I used to be” and still another “No.”
Only two men are enrolled, and a third died since he signed up, but more men are being recruited. Once a potential match has been made, residents are invited to meet each other at the River Café and Market, a self-serve restaurant with sandwiches and desserts at Hebrew Home. Mr. Beck has been on three such dates.
Mr. Beck, who has white hair and an easy laugh, says he enjoys the company of attractive, well-spoken women with a sense of humor. He takes care of himself, exercises regularly, dresses neatly and tastefully, and is interested in someone who does the same. He spends little time in his third-floor bedroom, and when he does, more often than not, the television is tuned into a baseball game, the volume turned down so he can listen to Frank Sinatra.
“He’s not a guy who likes to be alone,” says his daughter Shelley Fisher.
Her parents met in the late 1940s at the Sha-wan-ga Lodge in the Catskills Mountains, a popular and romantic vacation spot. It had a big pool, nightly entertainment and its own theme song, “Meet Me in the Moonlight.” Her father was newly discharged from the Army and working at his brother-in-law’s fruit stand. Her mother, Leona, known as Lee, was a bookkeeper for a safe business.
They dated, married and had three children. He opened four produce stores, which thrived. “I worked very hard. I made money, and spent money,” he says. One Christmas, he surprised Lee with a white Cadillac with a red interior. They were married 35 years when she died of a heart attack. She was only 54.
A few years later, a friend introduced Mr. Beck to Judy, whose husband also died of a heart attack. “I never thought of marriage, but women are women and men are men,” he says.
They married and, after he retired, moved to Miami Beach and bought a condominium in a nice gated community. She played mah-jongg, and he played poker twice a week. They traveled to Monte Carlo and went out to dinner often.
“We went to the finest places. I’d walk in the door and people would say, ‘Hello, Mr. Beck. Your table is ready. Your drink is here,’ ’’ says Mr. Beck. They knew he liked a dish of peanuts with his martini and that the bill always went to him, regardless of how many were at the table. “I loved that,” he says.
Judy died about eight years ago.
“I had two really wonderful women as wives. I really loved them and they really loved me,” he says. Lee bought him a gold chain when they got engaged 65 years ago. He wears it around his neck. “I’ve never taken it off,” he says.
When the dating service was offered at Hebrew Home, he thought, “Why not?”
His first date went well, he says. Before the date, Mr. Beck conferred with his daughter on what to wear. “The button-down or a polo shirt?” he asked. His date was attractive, well dressed and thoughtful.
In the days following, they met for lunch and talked on the phone. He suggested going out for a clam dinner with his daughters. That never happened. She didn’t call and then became ill, although she is now feeling better.
The second match was with Irene Sanabria, 72. Her first two marriages ended in divorce, and her third to Ralph lasted 22 years before he passed away at the age of 59. “His father drank boilermakers and smoked cigarettes every day. I thought sure Ralph would be like him and live to old age,” she said. “I’ve been married most of my life. I don’t think you should be alone if you don’t have to be.”
She knew Mr. Beck from the swimming pool. Friends offered advice: “Be calm.” “Be yourself.” “Don’t talk about marriage on your first date.” Both decided it was a pleasant outing, but neither wanted to pursue a second date.
His third match, Mrs. Berger, moved into Hebrew Home in March and signed up for the dating service, saying she was interested in casual dating with someone who is kind and handsome.
Mr. Beck wore a pale blue polo shirt. Mrs. Berger had her hair done and wore makeup and jewelry.
The outing, both agreed, was enjoyable. If the friendship develops, he said he would like to go out on a “real date”—dinner and cocktails at a fancy restaurant outside the nursing home. “Naturally I would pick up the tab,” he says.

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